Let me preface this post by saying that I by NO means mean to belittle, persecute, offend, or in any other way upset people especially anyone directly effected by the terrorist attack on our country on 9/11/2001. Also, by saying that this post will not make you smile and could very well make you cry. I, like millions of other Americans, while not directly involved with or knowing anyone who was, mourned with my country men, I remember the shock, the hurt, and the fear of that morning, and I also remember the list of names – pages and pages long – that I helped to type and prepare for the memorial our college did the following year to remember those lives lost. It was horrible, however, that grief and shock and confusion was nothing compared to the very real and personal event that took place in my life five years later.
I’ve read on other blogs about the personal struggles women have gone through over the loss of children and babies and been moved to floods of tears for the hurt in their lives, that resonates so deeply with me. I would personally recommend that if you are ever lead to, and find the time you read the stories at Clover Lane and Joy’s Hope, these two women have written their stories in ways I cannot yet manage to do, and they are amazing! This isn’t that post either – although I do hope to one day be able to do that.
This post is a simple request. September 11, is a national holiday known as Patriot Day. As part of the observance of Patriot Day, along with having your flag at half staff, you are asked to have a moment of silence in remembrance. The actual law that makes Patriot Day official says nothing of what time to take your moment of silence, just that you should take it. Some suggest that you should do so at the same time as the first plane struck the first tower, others say it should be done at noon (I guess for ease of remembering) and the official time seems to only be designated each year if the President makes a proclamation stating such.
For me, 9/11 isn’t about all those other people who lost their lives eight years ago any more. For me, it’s about the little baby boy I lost three years ago. The little boy I held bundled in my arms the next day and who looked just like his sister would almost a year later – only with his Daddy’s light hair instead of his Mommy’s dark. I think (regretfully) about the moment it sunk in that he was gone, as I held him and all I could feel was the chill of the cold locker they were holding his body in till it went off for autopsy. How I practically screamed at Chris that he was so cold, so cold, why is he so cold and practically threw the baby boy I’d never hold again into his arms as he called for the nurse. For me, all this time later despite my better knowledge, the flags at half staff aren’t for the faceless men, women and children who died across the country years earlier, but for the little boy with the blond eye lashes and the Patz family nose who’s foot prints I have in a card next to his ashes.
So, this is my request on Patriot Day, during your moment of silence, whenever you decide to take it, I ask that not only do you remember the families effected and lives lost at the hands of terrorists on 9/11/2001 but that you remember the millions of women world wide who have or will be effected by miscarriage or still birth. One in every 160 pregnancies end in still birth (death of the baby after 20 or 24 weeks of pregnancy depending on where you live in the world) and miscarriage is even more frequent but with rates that are hard to know because many women miscarry before the sixth week of pregnancy and may not have even realized they were pregnant. Take an additional moment to think of these mothers and fathers and families, say a prayer for the women who feel broken, torn apart, or defective in some way because they feel they have somehow failed as a mother by having such a tragedy occur inside their very own body. Pray for the mothers still freshly grieving, and pray for the researchers trying to make it stop. Pray for hope.
Thinking of you today little man, and looking forward to the day I finally get to meet you in Heaven.