For real this time (aka – new years goals)

I guess I get to be one of the first this year when it comes to posting my goals for 2009. I have really examined myself lately, and examined what is truly important to me and my happiness and my sanity and my family, and that has really factored into my “new years resolutions”. This year isn’t just a “yeah I know I should do these things” kind of list, it a true desire and request for accountability from my friends and family and those I hold most dear. Because without help from all of you, I know that I wouldn’t be here at this point, and there is no way I could go forward with any hope without the knowledge you’ll be there to spur me on and pick me up when I need help and encouragement, as well as cheer and celebrate when I achieve. I will also say right now, that unlike many other people, and even myself in the past, all the action will happen right here, there won’t be any “exercise blog” or “get me skinny only” style tweets. I’m not making any new accounts or screen names, because that adds a new level of anonymity and thats exactly the opposite of what I need. So, I’m going to put it all out there, real numbers (as shameful as they make me feel, but thats kinda the point isn’t it), real fact, real raw feelings, and I’m going to ask that you all continue to love me (like you have any choice :-p) and ask you to be honest and supportive and encourage you to be as bold in your goals and dreams as I am trying to be with mine.

Let me start by saying that in looking at the top ten lists of common resolutions, and my list from last year, I see a lot of the same things, so I apologize for the rapidity, but sometimes it takes a new day/year/whatever to make yourself look anew at the old and figure out what it’ll take to make it really work this time and why it didn’t before.

the foremost for me is:
STOP BEING SO GORAM FAT! Bluntly, I way (as of the last time I stepped on the scale, which was 2 weeks ago and before bingeing on everything on vacation) 216 pounds. I ware a size 18 pants, and am actually as heavy or more heavy than I was 9 months pregnant with Inara. These thoughts make me a little nauseous to say the very least. I’m still trying to figure out how to fix this, especially since I’ve joined weight watchers 4 times in my life and never had much success, in fact I’d love to weigh now what I did when I joined the first time because I was “fat” then! Step one is to actually use my gym membership. I’ve said before that I was training for a 5k, well, now I’m really going to step it up and get on that. My goal is to go to the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays to get in a full run and some weight training. Bonus would be another one or two days for a cardio or yoga type class that my gym offers, but I’m not pressuring myself there. I’d also like to try and get the family (mom, dad, Inara, and dogs) out for a stroll around the neighborhood at least once a week, nothing intense, just get everyone out of the house to stretch their legs and get some fresh air on a regular basis.

Other things I’d like to accomplish:
I’m going to make a strong attempt to keep in better touch with long distance family and friends (and those local as well, but that’s not as difficult). Last year my goal was to get everyone in my family a birthday card. I managed that for the most part although some were embarrassingly late and others, unfortunately, didn’t get sent at all. This year, not only will EVERYONE in the family get a card (friends who I have the date for as well, so make sure I have your birthdate if you want a card) but I also plan on sending a written note to at least 5 random people each month friends and family all qualify. Sometimes it’ll be the same people each time, but other times I’ll add in a couple new and random people, so you never know you could be the lucky recipient one month (only if I have your current address though).

Spend time honing my skills. Chris and I have added a small ($5) craft/sewing budget for me each month to buy fabric and supplies. I’ll start by finishing projects I already have things for (new curtains for the living room and dog beds for both girls) and some outfits I have picked out for Inara for spring. My goal is to finish at least 1 thing each month.

I also plan on making and decorating at least 1 cake or set of cupcakes each month to keep up my decorating skills. At some point this year, I’d also like to take the final wilton class in fondant/gum paste and look for local classes that offer specific skills as well such as sugar art and stuff.

The other one that is really important to me, other than losing weight, is growing deeper with God. The past couple of years have really been rough on my spiritual walk, and I’ve learned in recent months that it’s because God has been working in my life on levels I didn’t understand (and don’t fully still). Last fall I joined a bible study and have really loved getting into the word and getting to know this group of women and can’t wait to get back into the swing of things with them again after the holiday break. I’ve also signed up for another bible study at church that starts in a couple weeks. I’m hoping that between the two of them, it will keep me motivated to create a specific time of study and prayer at least 5 days a week.

There is a song that I’ve been hearing on the radio that really talks about how I’ve felt lately, it’s called “Whatever You’re doing” and it’s by Sanctus Real

These are the lyrics

It’s time for healing time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
but I’m giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender…
To…

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It’s time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

I’m ready to fix what’s been broken and let everything out.

And last but not least, a date night with Chris and I for at least 4 hours 1 time a month, minimum. We’ve got a great group of friends with whom to swap baby sitting duty, lots of gift cards we’ve accumulated at Christmas, and not enough alone time together.

So to sum that up:
*My goal weight is 180 to start with (thats what the midwife said last year she’d request before being comfortable with me getting pregnant again at least) ideal would be 160 before another baby (which is still about 35 pounds heavier than what I should be)
*Gym 3 times a week for 5k and strength training
*Whole family walk 1 time a week
*EVERY family member gets a birthday card, and friends whose birthdates I have.
*Monthly note cards to specific and random people – at least 5 per month
*Finish 1 sewing/craft project each month.
*Bake 1 cake (or set of cupcakes) each month (take wilton class)
*Quiet time 5 days a week
*Date night with Chris once a month

LOL, I think thats enough for now.
However, my friends, this list is not just for my reference. Poke me, ask me how things are going, encourage me, and make sure I keep up with what needs to kept up with. Now, I encourage you to take an introspective look at yourself and see if there’s anything that could use fixing.

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6 thoughts on “For real this time (aka – new years goals)

  1. Courtney, you have inspired me to do some of my own “resolutions.” I will help hold you accountable and am excited to walk – make that run with you through this. From now on dinners with us will be healthy, low-fat, but so yummmy! We missed you guys and can’t wait to hear about your trip. You know we are up for helping with Inara for date nights:) By the way my birthday is January 12! Michael’s is April 17.

  2. you know God and I both love and cherish you and rejoice in your quest for a better you. it sounds like you have a great network set up and we are ALL here to help you, cheer you and poke you! even the icky pokes you get from God are great!! keep us all posted and i guess if you can finish a sewing project each month i can too. it will give me something to do on old snowy nights when my TV goes to fuzz in February! keep on keeping on – Mom

  3. Courtney, I think its awesome that you have so many resolutions. Just remember, take one day at a time…I don’t doubt that you can do these things, but remember, if you don’t, or have a bad day, or forget, don’t get down on yourself. You can only do so much in one day! Love Meg

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